My Wife / My bestie

I started my morning off a little wonky (side note: that word, wonky, is actually in the dictionary. Not sure why that strikes me as funny but it does). But back to my morning. My alarm went off at precisely 6:00 which it does every morning. I futilely hit the snooze button in the hopes of getting another ten minutes of rest. As fate would have it, Kaylee bug (KB) was already in the room wanting me to go downstairs with her so she could get breakfast. Normally that’s a sane request right? My daughter wanted me to help her get some food and I was up anyways so why not? And normally I would accompany her no questions asked. However, as soon as I opened my eyes I could feel the roiling emotions in my body. I told her she could go downstairs and get it herself but she really wanted me to go. Not only was I truly out of bed before I wanted to be but I had also at this point realized I was running late for an appointment I had made with a fellow Soldier from a sister unit.
Here’s where my morning got dicey. I don’t think I’ve kept it a secret on this blog that I occasionally deal with some sudden onset anger issues. Well I guess it had been a while since that emotion had reared its ugly head and it wanted some time to shine again. After telling her to go downstairs by herself and having her tell me no, I immediately went red hot. Now also as I have said before, I’ve never struck my children in anger, or anyone else for that matter but I can sure yell with the best of them. I begrudgingly got up, ignored her pleas (AJ was awake by now) and went to the bathroom fuming.
I ultimately went downstairs with KB but instead of getting food she went to the dining room, in her underwear, and told me she wanted to play the game Hedbanz. I tried to collect myself and tell her we didn’t have time for that, she needed to go upstairs and get dressed for school, brush teeth, eat food etc. Okay maybe I yelled all of that. She doesn’t respond kindly to yelling. By that I mean she started yelling back at me, we spiraled into a completely unproductive yelling match to which AJ walked into.
Here’s what I’m thankful for today. I was not going to talk about AJ during this month because quite honestly I could dedicate every day to her Every day she presents me with another reason to be thankful that she is in my life. However, since she was so effortlessly able to walk down the stairs, assess that I was going into emotional overdrive, and immediately defuse the situation by telling me I should probably walk away, today I’m thankful for her.
I’m not merely thankful for our relationship, although at this point in time we are stronger than we have ever been. I’m thankful for the person she is, for every single atom that comprises her complex, beautiful, patient being. I am thankful that I have a partner who can see through the fog of the occasional flaw and not only recognize who I really am but can love me unconditionally despite the setbacks. I am thankful for a woman who can so effortlessly, in appearance at least, provide the guidance and discipline our children need while I storm off in a tizzy (also in the dictionary. What a fun day I’m having. My mind is blown), attempting to figure out why I am so disproportionately pissed off.
I am also thankful for her amazing sense of humor. I’ve been caught off guard so many times by things she has said. She has an innate proclivity to defusing me with humor and she has recently started wholly embracing it. I couldn’t be happier.
So today I am thankful for my Leslie Knope, my AJ. Thank you for everything you are and everything you mean to me.

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